God’s New Commandments from the “Man upstairs”…

I hear you GOD…

“I hear you GOD…”

This morning was cool – there was some light fog as I peered out the window at the rubber plantation… The sun was absent and it’s warmth wasn’t felt yet at this hour. It was the early part of six am and my partner was still fast asleep. The cocks had been crowing for an hour at least – that I remember. I must have woken around five-ish.

In that relative calm… that stillness of morning God came to me with what I think to be the most important instructions ever. He said, “Jerry, get some paper and write down these, my NEW commandments”.

I said, “Lord, are there many or few?”

He replied, “A few to me may be many to you.”

And so I got a whole notebook… these are the NEW COMMANDMENTS as he told me this morning at approximately 6:10 am, 28 December 2006.

1. Do not abbreviate the year as 06. It is 2006 for a reason. It reminds more people that “IAM” that reason.

2. I am the LORD your GOD, NUMBER ONE, and every other number, and you must not have any other God before me OR after me. If you encounter someone that believes THEY know the real GOD and it is not “I” then you must use whatever means necessary to annihilate them, piece and parcel. Small and large caliber weapons, mortar fire, Chinese killing traps, starvation, and whatnot. Whatever means NECESSARY (he stressed this word).

Now, BEFORE you kill them there is something you must do…

With the accused on looking, begin removing ALL televisions, radios, computers, PDAs, cell phones, external hard disks, CDROMS, DVD ROMS, IPODS, ZUNES — if you can find any, digital and tape recorders, camcorders, digital cameras, and gameboys from their residence and burning them in a pile in the front of their house not JUST for their benefit, but so that all others may know that I am the lord your GOD and no efforts will be spared to secure that position.

my comments: In a sense, he told me, electronic gadgets have become our secondary GODs. We give our time to them like we would have given to our children before their invention.

3. Electronic gadgets ARE THE ANTICHRIST! (He was audibly enraged when he stated this one.) Give to me what is mine and give to your families and children what is rightfully theirs. Give me PRAISE and give TIME to your families and children. This is the word of the LORD your GOD.

my comments: This one is going to be tough. What else are we going to do all day? Talk to our kids? Make small talk with our partners? Plant a tree?

4. DO NOT KILL! Except… *If you need to eat something and there is nothing else. *If you have been threatened with deadly force. *If you are enforcing one of my other commandments that contradicts this one.

*Euthanasia is OK *Capital punishment is OK if, after you’ve prayed about it, you still feel good about carrying it out.

5. Do NOT EAT shellfish, crabs, oysters, or the fishes of the sea or freshwater for a period of 19 years. These resources need to be allowed to replenish themselves or there will be none for my future worshippers.

my comments: This one’s not so bad… look at it as a gift you’ll get in 19 years – as much as you can eat seafood buffets open all over the planet. It will be worth the wait…

6. Sleep with your neighbor’s wife if it’s OK with him, however, realize that what is permissible BY me is not permissible FOR me. Do not do it in my name, but do it out of uncontrollable lust and deprivation which exist because I made them exist.

my comments: GOD seems aware of the catch 22’s that exist…

7. Eat that which has any typed feet. Hoofed, Cloven, Snarled, and Clubbed. However, those of you that eat that which HATH NOT feet will be, along with 3 successive and 2 preceding generations of your blood, relegated to sucking slugs out of cracks between rocks in HELL because you did not OBEY the lord, your compassionate and perfectly fair GOD.

my comments: snails, slugs, snakes, fish, sea cucumbers, sea horses, tadpoles, etc…

8. Your FIRSTBORN is sacred. Your second and third, equally so. The fourth is excess and the fifth and subsequent are abominations to the Lord your God and you must put them in a room in solitude and not show them love. For by not showing them love you are lavishing love upon me. This is the word of the Lord your GOD.

9. Do not eat especially that which is healthy, that which brings longer life. Do not exercise to extend your life. Do not take medicine that lengthens your life on earth. Do you not know that I will adorn you to greater lengths than Solomon in all his splendor? In your earthly death I am adorning you with the gifts of heaven in the blink of an eye. Life on earth is nothing special. Stop asking so many questions about it. If I wanted you to live longer you would live a couple of millennia. Is that what you want? Be careful what you ASK FOR!

my comments: GOD was getting perturbed as he stated this commandment. I can sense that there are QUITE a few things that are irking him about our present day behavior. He was well composed during most of his oration today, but just a couple of times I know he was sweating with rage and holding it back.

10. Kiss the POPE’s ring or any of the Bishops’ rings and you’ll KISS away the kingdom of heaven. I am a jealous GOD and you’ll have no other GODs before me, not even the Pope.

11. Start giving money to SOMEONE for SOME good reason. If you have extra to spend a few thousand on cigarettes and alcohol then you’ve got enough extra to put off the NEW ELECTRONICS. Find someone that needs it and give them some CASH today.

12. My FINAL commandment is that you stop praying. Praying is fruitless. I neither hear you nor act on your wishes, no matter how heartfelt. No matter how long you pray the pray the same thing. The world is made and FINISHED. There are not updates to it. Instead, I choose to bring YOU up to date with the latest commandments. The world with it’s physical laws, laws of genetics, math, and the doubling of speed of processors every 18 months is NEVER going to change. LIVE WITH IT. That is my will. Stop praying!

13.  MY FINAL COMMANDMENT is… I am always the WINNER.  If you are the winner, then, I am the winner too.  But, if I am the winner, I AM THE ONLY WINNER.

my comments: AMEN!

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About Jerry

Mississippi born and raised. I've studied many religions and read the bible through a couple of times. I have a fervent need to share GOD's message since it made itself known to me. This blog is to reveal God's word and daily messages I get from God my savior. NOTE: Well it was for that anyway...
This entry was posted in christianity, Commandments, Commandments and Rules, God, God's Instructions, Religion and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to God’s New Commandments from the “Man upstairs”…

  1. diana says:

    Hey.. interesting read, are you serious about all of it? Stop praying? Seriously?

  2. Jerry says:

    I didn’t say it… yes, I would assume God is serious about it… do you think he might be less than serious about his commandments?

  3. diana says:

    That just directly contradicts the Bible though. What god gave you that commandment? Not Jesus Christ.

  4. Jerry says:

    How many GODs are there Diana… I’m not aware of more than one… are there more?

  5. diana says:

    Yes Jerry there is only one, and his commandments are there in the Bible, so whose commandments are these 😉

  6. Forget diana Jerry. New Commandment #2 tells us how she should be dealt with. When Moses delivered the first set of Commandments, they were somewhat vague. I really appreciate that you’ve added your own comments to help clarify for us plebs. I was totally unsure whether New Commandment #7 also included tadpoles as they actually have legs that later protrude, but your comment has totally cleared it up for me. They’re out. Not the legs, the tadpoles.

    But has God contradicted himself? New Commandment #4 says Capital Punishment is OK after praying, but then New Commandment #12, the FINAL Commandment, (the one before the FINAL COMMANDMENT), says we should all stop praying. Would there be any chance of you adding your own comment to that one as well so that we may observer these New Commandments as accurately as we can?

  7. Jerry says:

    Dear Ms. Diana… God said, “There are believers and there are unbelievers…” Which one are you? Blessed Be, Jerry

  8. Jerry says:

    Dear Mr. ParallelDivergence, I write not for humor, though I seem to be giving you a gut reaction that expresses itself as such across these zeros and ones we call the cyberworld. I can only relay what IT said. I cannot go back and edit something. If it appears to be a contradiction to you, I might only offer that God said, “They shall not commit adultery.” and God also said, “Let he who is without blame cast the next stone on the whore.” People’s interpretations are as numerous as the blowing wind or the falling cascade of zeros and ones in the matrix screensaver. Don’t let that trouble you my friend… it appears that you have a good grasp of the major portion of it. If that’s the case, you’re half the winner already. Blessed Be and Blessed is the Fruit, Jerry

  9. diana says:

    Jerry, have you ever read the Bible except for maybe a couple of chapters from the books of Moses?

  10. Humor? You think I find something funny in the words of God?? Jerry, Sir. I only hope (can’t pray anymore) that as the Chosen One, the next Prophet (even though they say Mohammad was the final one), that you perform the job admirably. Humanity can’t afford the inconsistent messages of the past. I offered advice on how you can get God’s messages out in a comment to another post. All I can wish for you now is “Godspeed”. Godspeed Jerry.

  11. Jerry says:

    Dear Ms. Diana, I find your responses biased toward ignorant deduction. How can you possibly attempt to deduce how MUCH of the bible I’ve read? And from what books!??? How do you do that? Are you that good at assessing people? I’m going to ignore you Ms. Diana, you have no place in a friendly online community. No place in my blog. And no place in my heart. God probably doesn’t love you or me anymore. Blessed be anyway, go do something worthwhile with your time… help someone that needs it… Jerry

  12. Jerry says:

    MR. Paralleldivergence… you and I appear to be on parallel tracks… but, like train tracks they don’t converge nor do they diverge. I see us just like a train MR pd. I can type like a feind mr pd, like a feind! but it’s not like I wake up with my laptop fired up and ready to go. I’m sleeping… I’m enjoying the roosters and the aerobics music coming from the sport park just beyond the rubber trees. I don’t wake up easily at first… I need that time to ripen before I can get up out of bed. God doesn’t understand that – or, my sloth-like behavior is not of any consequence… God starts and RUNS WITH HIS WORD. There is no – “Jerry, are you ready?” Nope, just RUNS WITH IT. Gallops with it, if you will. Gallops all over my dazed-morning-head and fires away with those CONSONANTS and VOWELS that he’s trying to impress me with – the way he emphasizes it is just almost – if I could say, beligerent (almost). Not really – but, you know what I mean? It hurts me sometimes the FORCE of what he’s saying and how it comes out… not polite so much, but like I’m a mouthpiece for a microphone on a evangelical late-night show. So please, MR PD

  13. I understand Jerry. I too have difficulty waking up sometimes. I hope your new plan brings fruit and It resumes delivering it’s Message to You. Jerry. Messenger of God.

  14. Jerry says:

    Dear Mr PD, perhaps we’re on a track that will converge in the future… you seem to be coming around… we seem to be of the same ilk. “Messenger of God” eh? Hmm, in the past maybe – but what kind of message am I giving today? I don’t have anything for you. Sorry to say. Blessed be, Jerry

  15. Jake Whitton says:

    Ummmm I realize that there is free speech and whatnot but did you ever stop and think that you might be hearing voices that are not Gods. Personally, I am an athiest but hearing voices telling you to kill people, is not really… healthy. Please, for the safety of people around you, seek help.

  16. Jerry says:

    Jake, I’m lost… did someone say that there were voices telling someone to kill someone? I’m completely lost… did I say that? Jake, welcome to the conversation, get up to speed, and then post… How can you be an atheist? That’s as silly as someone believing there IS a god… but in the opposite spectrum of things… Go back to your mental health counseling job Jake…

  17. Cassandra says:

    It seems more like you talk to demons. Are you serious? You’ve got to be joking. Please tell me your joking.

    How can you claim you are spreading the Word of God?
    “Once I was ON FIRE for the Lord… now I just feel like I’m on fire. Smoldering. Maybe burnt out.”
    Seems you are right about one thing.

    You should delete this blog

    • Jerry says:

      Hi Cassandra,

      As surely as the sun goes nowhere and the earth revolves around and around – dizzying us and confusing us as to where god might be hiding…. this IS the word of the lord your god.

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